Awake
by bookcucumber23
Summary: This story is based off the song Awake by Josh Groban, it was going to be for the Two is better then one, but then i found a better song but decided to put this up anyway. WARNING: Not a happy ending.


**A/N: Hey! Just FYI  
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**The Jackie and Sam part seems awkward to me, I'm not a big fan of the couple, **

**i support it but don't feel comfortable writing about it quite yet, but I'm working on it!  
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**This story is based off the song Awake by Josh Groban**

**Some cursing in this, sorry to offend.  
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**WARNING: Not a Happy ending!**

**P.S. If you see any spelling or grammar problems, feel free to let me know so i can fix it...  
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* * *

It wasn't like her to be so vulnerable. Walking through the door into her sterile white hospital room succeeded in sending goosebumps up my arms in ways no haunted place had ever achieved. I felt haunted now, watching her lie completely still, so pale against the snow white bed she was almost invisible, only her blonde hair giving her away.

I grabbed the wooden chair on rollers, carefully dodging all the wires connected to her, I pulled it up along side her bed, watching her breathe just to make sure she actually was.

The machine on my right gave off a steady beat, a sound I normally would find beyond annoying I found strangely comforting. The beeping of that machine told me she was still alive, her heart beating strong.

I let my eyes run over her, burning how she looked into my memory. Her forehead had a gash dangerously close to her temple, which I later found out required ten stitches.

Her eyes were closed in a natural sleep; the anesthesia had worn off by now. Her eyelids were purple, quivering to prove she was dreaming. Tubes ran up her nose, helping her breathe if she needed it. The hospital gown swallowed her, the neckline came low and the gown ballooned around her, even smashed against her under the blankets.

There was another scratch along her collar bone. My eyes followed down her arms to her hands which were alright, just an IV coming from her left one, reaching up to the bag still giving her blood, and the clip on her index finger tip for her heart rate.

I knew what I wasn't seeing though. Hiding under the blankets, bandages covering the clamps attempting to hold her together, was a hole, a hole right through her stomach just under her lungs. The doctors are amazed she's still alive.

There was an accident, when she was with her mom. A drunk driver slammed into them only just last night. Was it really only last night? It feels as if an eternity has passed. They were coming home from dinner, I don't know where, but I do know they were slammed into. A piece of the doorframe came loose, stabbing her through her stomach, coming out the other end. Her mom was killed upon impact.

The nearest witness had 911 on the phone faster then anything she'd ever done before. She would later tell me she was a nurse returning from work, the same hospital we're at now. She did all she could until the ambulance arrived and She's the main reason my wife is still alive.

She apologized to me, before I came into the room, telling me she was sorry she couldn't save them both.

"I'm sorry. I tried but I couldn't save them both." Her face was downcast, self disappointment making her angry at herself.

"You did what you could." What else was I supposed to say?

"The way the metal hit her, there no chance for the poor thing." She continued, assuming I understood.

"What do you mean?"

Her eyes grew wide, tears brimming. "You didn't know?" it came out breathy, full of shocked amazement.

"Know what?" I was too tired, irritable, and worn for guessing games.

"Your wife was pregnant. You were going to be a father."

I felt my world collapse around me, the floor falling out from beneath me. I couldn't begin to describe the pain, the pure fiery pain that coursed through me. My throat constricted with sobs, my head pounding harder the more I fought to hold them back. A few stray tears coursed down my cheeks before I could stop them.

"Thank you for telling me." My voice was cracked, a couple sobs broke through but I was beyond caring. Screw pride and dignity! I had just lost my child! Our child! But I still kept my head down so she wouldn't see.

"I'm so sorry."

I turned away from her, needing desperately to be far away from her pitying gaze. Sticking my hands deep into my pockets, back hunched feeling as if the weight of the world were on my shoulders I paused a few steps away.

"So am I." It was the last thing I would ever tell her, I never saw that kind woman again.

I rested on hand on the bed, the other wrapped around her hand, squeezing it gently in support. Her mother was gone, and so was our baby. I squeezed her hand tighter. And the chances of her making it through were barely existent, the doctors kept telling me they were amazed she had lived after the accident, let alone started making a recovery.

I could hear them whispering outside her door.

"She should be dead by now."

"I know, she's fighting death with everything she has. She has something to live for."

"More like someone, love is a powerful force."

"I just hope it's powerful enough."

I hoped it would be too.

"Riley?" Her voice pulled me back to her side. I watched her eyes flutter open, focusing solely on me.

"I'm right here." I squeezed her hand, she retuned the pressure.

Her gaze flickered back and forth between my eyes before falling closed.

My breath hitched, I rose from the chair, over reacting on instinct. She must have heard, her eyes immediately opened again.

"I'm guessing you know."

I sat back down slowly. "About the baby?"

She nodded.

"Why did you never tell me?"

She attempted a deep breath, crying out in pain once her stomach moved to far.

I was back on my feet again, helplessly watching her struggle to keep her breathe. My hand lingered over the 'Nurse Call' button, but her voice stopped me.

"Don't." She looked up at me through lidded eyes, her face void of any color. She looked sickly, ghostly, like death.

I stayed standing for a minute longer, watching her breathe shallowly.

"I was going to tell you tonight, after Laser Rock."

I sat back down again on the edge of the chair. "How long have you known?"

"I only just found out yesterday. Wait, how long have I been in here?"

"A couple days, the doctors are amazed you're still alive."

She didn't answer; she closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing.

"So am I." She admitted quietly a few moments later. "What time is it?"

"Around six-thirty in the morning, the sun just rose."

"What's the weather like?" She glanced out the window over my shoulder at the incoming ominous clouds.

"It's supposed to rain later."

She closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing again.

"Lay with me?" She looked up at me hopefully, scooting over in the small bed.

"I don't think we'll both fit."

"We can try."

Desperate to be closer I complied, somehow squeezing myself onto the teeny tiny bed with her, of course she was practically on top of me, but she didn't seem to mind.

She laid her head on my chest while I stroked her hair, drifting into my own little world.

"Remember when Jackie fell down the stairs?" Her voice startled me, I looked down at her pondering where this had randomly come from, but the memory made me laugh.

"And Sam over reacted making as if she was dying a slow painful death." I cringed at my word choice, but she giggled, and then winced in pain.

* * *

_**FLASHBACK:**_

"Riley please, I seriously doubt one of us would be walking past the camera!" We had already finished going over all of our evidence, but Riley and I were still arguing about whether or not a shadow figure we saw was credible or not.

"KC, he was too solid to have been a shadow figure."

"But none of us look like that!"

"I'm gonna run upstairs, I forgot my iPod." I head Jackie mutter to Sam.

"You're sharing it; I don't know how much longer I'll last with this." Sam muttered back, thinking we couldn't hear him.

Jackie walked around us, giving us a wide berth, not wanting to be forcibly dragged into the conversation.

"KC, that couldn't have been a shadow." Riley pulled me back into our debate.

"It couldn't have been one of us either!" I heard Jackie heading upstairs.

"Since we don't know what it is, I still say it's inconclusive."

"But that's exactly it! We don't know what it is, so it's credible!" We were in each others faces by now.

"Guys give it a break!" We heard Jackie yell from the top of the stairs. "You two are- EEP!"

Her small shriek punctuated her last sentence, followed by six 'thuds' and a 'thunk'.

We all froze for a second before racing down the hall to the staircase. We found Jackie lying half on the last step, half on the floor looking dazed and confused.

"What just happened?"

"Jackie, did you just fall down the stairs?" Riley was shaking with suppressed laughter.

She glanced back up at the stairs she just fell down. "I think so."

Sam, having been bored out of his mind the last twenty minutes, decided this was too good an opportunity to pass up and blew it our of proportion.

"Jackie!" Sam tackled her in a hug.

"Sam, what the heck!" Jackie voice was annoyed amusement. "Let go of me!"

"I was so worried, we heard bangs and screams and thuds and thunks then silence," His voice was awed, sounding amazed at life.

I shook my head in amusement.

Pointing to Jackie he continued. "And you were there, and you were there," He pointed to Riley, "And you were there." He pointed to me, "And you were there," He pointed to Zack, "And I was there." He pointed to himself, pretending to be absolutly astounded by this information.

"Maybe Sam was the one who hit his head." Riley muttered making me giggle, our debate forgotten.

Jackie rolled her eyes, pushing herself up off the floor.

"You alright?" I asked her once she was standing.

"Yeah."

Sam snorted, "Did you at least get your iPod?"

She held it out as proof, and he snatched it from her hand. Her affronted huff was cut off by him lancing his hand through hers.

"I really was worried." He told her, kissing the back of her hand tenderly. "You could've ended up in a coma after that fall."

"I'm still awake aren't I?" She rested her head on his shoulder.

Riley, Zack and I left them in the hall, heading back into the kitchen. They followed behind a moment later, hands still intertwined.

Riley and I had caught them later snuggled together in the corner of the couch.

* * *

"I think that incident was how they ended up together."

"Who knew Sam's dramatic tendencies would turn out to be helpful."

She was silent for a moment. "You know I'm dying." The mood in the room plummeted faster then a plane in a nose dive.

A sob hitched in my chest, my hand pausing in stroking her hair. "I know." Admitting it out loud made it more final then I'd like.

"You don't have to be strong for me."

My chest shuddered with sobs, tears coursing down my cheeks.

She lifted her head, watching me cry for her. "I know you hate being vulnerable." She wiped a tear away with her thumb.

I gave a watery chuckle, "I feel like the woman in this relationship."

She giggled, her own tears coursing down her cheeks.

I wiped a tear of hers away. "Are you scared?"

She shook her head. "No." Her breath hitched and she winced, crying hurt her stomach. "But I'm going to miss you."

I watched her; completely amazed at the woman I could call my wife.

"I'm going to miss you too, Case."

Her thumb brushed over my cheek, I leaned into her touch, never breaking eye contact.

"I love you, don't ever forget that." More tears spilled over, triggering mine.

"And I love you too, more then I could ever put into words. To do so would take an eternity."

She nuzzled her face into my neck, like she always used to do when we were teenagers coming back from investigations. Her tears coursed down my neck, soaking into the top of my t-shirt.

"Case," I shrugged my shoulder. She picked up her head, looking down at me. "Stay awake with me?"

"As long as I can." She kissed me then. Pressing her lips against mine, pouring all her heart into it. I let her love surround me, blocking out the entire world. I rested a hand against the top of her breast, letting the beat of her heart rock through me.

She pulled away too soon for my liking, her breathing harsh and ragged.

She rested a hand on my chest, resting her chin atop it, watching me. The other traced over my face, re-memorizing my features. I gazed right back, never releasing her eyes from mine.

My hand grabbed hers, pressing the back of her hand against my mouth, kissing it, but still leaving it there. I needed the contact and the pressure held me back from crying.

My other hand curled around her cheek, caressing her face, wiping away the tears she was still shedding.

I watched her as she watched me.

I felt her body start slumping, releasing all her weight against me. The fire in her eyes I loved about her slowly went out; I watched the light give in against the suffocation of death. Her head started slumping, eyes growing glassy. She wasn't seeing me anymore.

I crawled out from under her, laying her gently on the bed. I watched her eyes finally close, her chest stop rising, and heard the beeping of the machine falter into the shriek of a flat line. Nurses raced in, bustling about, pushing and shoving their way around me, I barely noticed. One finally pushed me out into the hallway, telling me I needed to wait outside.

I knew it was useless, my wife was gone. My mind shut down, not wanting to handle anything at the moment. I collapsed into a chair, resting my head in my hands, fighting back the tears I knew were coming, but not wanting to shed them. I felt them coursing down my cheeks anyway.

"Riley?" Jackie's voice startled me. "Is everything alright?"

I looked up at her, tears clinging to my eyelashes, I'm sure my face was red too.

She started hyperventilating, understanding from just my face what had happened.

"Oh my God." She stood next to me stunned beyond comprehension. Slowly she sunk into the chair next to me, sitting tensed on the very edge, looking ready to jump up and run at a moments notice.

A doctor came out, shutting the door softly behind him. He stood in front of us watching for a moment before speaking.

"I guess you already know what I'm about to say."

I nodded, jerking more tears loose.

"I'm so sorry." He walked away then, I'm sure he'd desensitized himself to situations like this a long time ago.

"Jackie," My voice gained her attention. "She was pregnant."

Footsteps pounded down the hall. Cocking my head I watched Sam race towards us, Zack and his wife right behind him.

"KC, is she…?" Sam trailed off, watching his wife burst out sobbing over what I'd just told her. Slowly comprehension dawned on him. "Fuck." He fell into the chair next to Jackie.

I pressed my fingers hard against my eyes, not able to handle anything at the moment. I felt sick, and wanted to go home, but I knew going to a place full of memories would only make it worse; I wasn't ready for that yet.

I stood abruptly from my chair, knocking it hard against the wall. "I have to leave. I have to get out of here."

"Riley." Sam's hand caught my arm as I went by. "You can stay with us, as long as you need too."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak, but Sam understood. It was enough.

The walk to my car was the longest shortest walk I'd ever had. The definition of oxymoronic marches. Once I'd finally reached my car, I wasted no time in turning over the ignition, even though it probably wasn't the best idea to be driving. The LED clock said it was 11:11. How ironic.

I was only halfway home before I had to pull over, tears blurring my vision to the point I couldn't see. Turning on my hazard lights, I slammed my head against the steering wheel, cussing and cursing, ranting and raving until I finally dissolved into tears.

Sobs racked my body, tore through my throat and ripped apart my heart. Pain coursed through my veins, nausea spun in my stomach so powerfully I raced from the car to the bushes along the side, barely making it in time to be violently sick.

I collapsed to the gravel; curling into a ball I pressed my head hard against my knees. I let the pain take back over and continued sobbing. Sobbing and shaking. Of course Mother Nature decided to burst open the dams and it started pouring, soaking me to the bone but I hardly noticed.

I was still like that when Sam found me around seven hours later, having been trying to find me after I never answered my phone, which was still in the car, and wasn't home. Except by that time I'd gone numb. I couldn't feel the temperature dropping around me, or the rain still pounding my shaking body, only the excruciating pain still coursing relentlessly through me.

"Riley? Fuck Riley! What the hell are you doing?" I let him help me up and load me into his van, never answering his question. He shut the sliding back door behind me.

Jackie wordlessly hopped into my abandoned SUV, which was amazingly still running, having been on the entire time since I never bothered to shut it off.

"Let's get you home." He turned the heat on high, trying to warm my shaking body.

"There's only one problem with that," I muttered to Sam some time later. "Home is where the heart is…and my hearts gone."

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**A/N: Review it you want, ****I am DEEPLY sorry**** if this story ruined anyones day! **

**~bookcucumber23**


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